let me tell you how the world works, what you ask for is gone, what you wish for comes years later, when you feel discomfort in your heart it grows as you imagine it. a small gift may mean a lot to you, the giver, and nothing to the one who shall receive. there are dualities that spear through you and puncture wounds, there are things we like to accept, like gravity, it makes sense. it makes sense. we have skinned knees and need to play basketball.
I am associated punky hair colour. I make dark look brown. I wear multiple references to animals. I clown around and look. All I feel I don't know how to express. i only feel it as a beat in my heart as A sliver of thought already passing. I wanted us only to msush our veins up against eachother and meld our blood. I was afarid to become a father, always being blamed by the mother. I will have a child that is dead and stillborn. It is sad. I am glad for patronage in tickets, and picket lines. White picket fence fine time line or find a time to see me? No.

BECAUSE IAM JUST A DREAM YOU SEE AND DO NOT SEE .

What is this feeling inside that makes me bleed sunshine? Who is too colorful for the ones who suffer baldly.

What is this new form of vanity. To bleed vanity with painful dollops of wasted blood. My menses. And I am unsure why, I need to make sure you have a place to sleep. I blindly care as if wanting or knowing (they are one? two? blue?) I want to help for the sake of you having been helped, not for cause of me helping. I am blind and talk too much. Mouth opens to squueze thought I could not calm. I am angry at you Oh father for separating your seed out, between boys and men. I am boy again. I am a boy who is agirl. ANd I want that to be okay.


I love you. And it will take so long to live with you.