scared of girls

this is about how im scared of girls and i go on ok-cupid looking for people who have similar interests to me, and then it's like ohhhh we're attracted to each other but really i just should make friends with girls/trans womyn. but girls are scary, and i'm afraid to go up and talk to them, i seriously, in the back of my head think the girl will be all like: EWWW what is she doin talkin to me, i am NOT her friend. and rarely do i see girls letting loose and having a good time or being silly or embarassing in public... but boys seem so much easier to talk to and it's easier to be less afraid cause in my mind it's like: welll they prolly think im cute, even if they're not attracted to me, and that'll make it okay to talk to them. but them i'm just playing into these role dynamics. but. beats being friendless. p.s. i think the truth is that. b. and me are very unlike each-other and there's ton of other people more like me.i think iphones freak me out, but then again, andriod phones used to freak me out, and then Abe had one and now I'm sitting in Abe's super awesome apartment, just after eating an awesome salad with vegan cheese. actually i dont care if we're different. i do love him. now abe is rolling the vegan cheese in herbs. (stop talking stop stop) YAY! "this batch is sticky" oh! i'm really excited. "letting it all out" BEATSBEATSBEATS BEATS BEATS WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE DRUM BEATS DRAG DEM BEATS UP YER FEET DRAG THEM I LOVE A SOUND AS IT FLUTTERS THROUGH BABY GOT THE HEART CAVITY HOLLOW AS A SPINNING SUN BACK <3