terrific

 everything is terrible

everything is terra 

everything is tetra tierra

everything is terrifying

terror defying

everything is uncomfortable

i don't want to be your friend anymore

go away

go away to your hole

go put your lace nightgown on

stuff your milk holes

there is this cage of bones

specifically this rib cage

it covers how badly I breathe

and how stuffed my lungs are

and how broken my heart is

could be all half-palestinians are born with a broken heart

one half for the pain of your mother's land and your grandmother's hands 

(embroidering)

one half for the pain of not belonging anywhere even within your family

it is all terrible and terrifying and terrific

and we will never know each other again

because I wanted your company too badly

any way it could be wrapped

i wanted it

not to be soft and light filled

not hard and dark and musty

just you

but you were afraid of me

so 

i hid my big monster eyes