wizard brain

 make me a  wizard damnit 

i wanna be known

in softly crawling tendrils all over your schema

blinded by the sun

 blinded by the sun

fingers trembling

shaking limbs

agitated algae medicine

swimming

stirring

finger dippin'

love

children in the sun

bare skin

warm glow

fresh lemon cucumbers

missing my friends

whom i pushed away

pushed away

pushed away

blinded by the sun

blinded by the sun

blinded by the 

disgust

over

the distance

i could or cannot

overcome

deeply alone

in my cage

(lungs)

(wound)

(fabric)

talking to girls

 talking to girls

talking to girls

talking to girls

talking to girls

I TALKED TO SOME GIRLS LAST NIGHT

I did not follow them home

I did not sleep in her bed

I did not eat with her

I did not look too long into her eyes

but next time

I will 

questioning this blog as a response to my ... locked down throat talk

 I used to write in this blog just because no one would read it and now it's listed on a public profile of my Instagram

So it feels like like it is a private blog

less like a sheer skirt with red underwear 

less like how you let your skirt hem snag on a rough patch of skin

as you adjust it upwards upwards upwards

so then, it is more real this, whole, "making the public private" thing i think I am doing

this thing it feels like is a disrespectful gross thing

I just thought we were living in a surveillance state

I thought that 20 years ago

I thought to myself, everything is already public

and we now know how deeply it is, but wasn't it always with simply different technology?

__________moving forwards_____stepping into____ the nur system___ the practice ____ the product___the potion____ the omen___ the poem

the abrupt ending

 why the

inesacpabable sounds

hit

Diary Entry July 31st 2026

 Dear Diary,

I woke up at 7:45am and it was just because the sun was shining. I went to bed around midnight.. wait let me check my phone records... yeah that's probably accurate because I made a call at 11:13pm while driving home from .. Shamoth's house. 

Oh wait now I just remembered to fill out my time card.

Okay i'm going to try a trick to overcome my avoidance with simple and easy tasks

I'm going to think of a song that is the feeling, in this case, the line, "Paranoia paranoia everyone is coming to get me." That's kind of what it feels like to think about doing my time card