turtles in a half shell

today i am feeling "alive".

bending the space and time between now and when I have to go to class again... which is thursday.

:D

i love a tree whose eyes our brown was born for me to make a sound that fans and waves with gentle branches the swaying ways of this enchanting is uncertain as the night. the mare who rides is by my side. my arab princess sister half heritage. and all will come together for this marriage.

OF HEART! TO PART! OF FLINT! AND STONE! (and whole)
no stone left behind
no passion undertoned
but slowly growing
the nose knows

breathing in refreshment, breathing out distortion, breathing in the present, breathing out the past, breathing in newness, blowing out the stale mulddane motions of yesterday's smelly breath
blowing it softy through the inside of my lips
the air caressing the pink flesh as my lips underturn and pull outward
removing the residue of pain
and the marks of shaming myself for yesterday's waves
letting loose not being okay
so that i do not have to change
i just have to let go of its measurement and decay
god will do the rest, and I have faith

naked mondays

http://whatishuman.tumblr.com/

Human is me I am human. Unleash the human. I am hairy human hear me ROAR. I am confused skinned and bloodied human. I am design. I am form. this is this is is what was. random bullshit. Moxied and mixing.
there is dark and light. i feel dark today. some other me must feel light.
felt feather
feel better?
feeling....

mixed messages and mixed massages.

i looked into your eyes and felt a surge of exectrical cosmic birth. somehting like it feels when one falls in love.
but your eyes, were averted, and i wonder, in my human form? is it really just all attachment?

Excrement

for some reason I decided a few years ago not to be bothered by most bodily function, mine or yours.

ive become somewhat obsessed with my lower intestine recently. the question is, after you've gained complete control over your organs, how much control do you exert?

it is known that when pooping, shitting some call it, you can lose your natural pushing response by habitually pushing too hard. this happened to me. and then I found, I could reverse the crazy 'stuck in your belly' effects by just Letting Go. Now.
I have a choice. When to push? When to just let it drop? It's all so new to me.

And.... this is why no one will ever think I'm beautiful forever (unless they're obsessive).

BUT it also seems the less I worry about how much excrement is inside my belly, the more comes out. Surely you've already grasped this life metaphor it's the ONLY one. You know the one about how when you hold onto a bird too hard you kill it, but if you let it fly away, you know, it'll fly away, and Maybe come back.

I hope that bird flys away forever. But Also, that my poop doesn't re-input any old toxins. Like old boyfriends who really should have gotten the fuck away from me by now. But, kittens. Do bring the family together. Ug .

This morning. My mother brought me coffee and cake in tiny pretty plates.
This morning. My mother brought me coffee and cake in tiny blue and yellow plates.
This morning. My mother.
After exiting her womb. I looked over. Across my left shoulder.
I looked over. The base of my chin caressed over. Point to pin bone.
Wearing white lingerie. Wearing white linens. White stuck to my skin. Peeled off white slightly synthetic material I can feel stickky-ness. It's hot and still summer here.
Layers.
After exiting her womb I saw a sign, said, Come Back Soon!
Escaping doom I knocked it over with my LEFT foot and my LEFT hair.
Covering. My stomach where I dread the dredges do drop their shit.
bum.

There upon a mounted hill lay here hair all dizzied and a'spilling out into the ridges like carbon nanotubes of inbetween spaces which allowed for occassional mis-savings. But off in the distance some tried and "true" rythm hummed against the clouds. Made her and here with her hair feel weirded out. How do I explain? She lifted up her upper ody up letting the frayed edges of her strands dripple the ground and ripple the sound. Flew out over and abode. Now, weirdness gone, makes a metal slapping sound in your heart. What was gone? What had come? Was I even here? Feet pick up feet pick up feet pick up slowly and no one is heard. Not a pee pea pod slope slippily lying. SO I can turn my head and call you out on divining. But hopefully, when the girl hair draping ever so nicely on the groped grass returns to lay her heavy head and make rest, one single spark of goodness will make it so that the devil curly haired brown manipulative lady who steals goodness from hearts and changes the consensus to being okay with hurting everyone in the world to the point that they don't mind us MANGLING THEIR BONES TO HEAVEN will be gone.

never wanted to hurt someone so bad and how does it change when all day all sun shiny joy unspoken and without quality comes to you yearning to be now now nownow now meoww.

HEY NOW

lookee here. I just made a website :

NuR uNIVERSE NEEDS


In other news, I have little money, lost my wallet, am returning home to a roommate I am apprehensive about seeing again but with whom I feel I have great confidence in.

Um.... Not much else to say except for um..... the above mentioned website......



***jab****

please mother dont murder my children

Please Mother dont murder my children
[the underling things that crawl in the day on ym face]
Please mother dont tie my hands behind my back and then say, AHA! I KNEW IT!
[liek they all do when they engorge their lips with my lipase]
i need help
i need help
i am helped and so i need it but what what what but what what what do i do

..... this mentions me here
keep having crushes on boys who are taken, and me, a lady already taken (albeit by some ghost no doubt) keeps feeling like some circulating joke.

flock foil
foul.

damn straight alien lady.

big eyes and crooked teeth is all ive been thinking about since the 7th grade
so there, there is my complex, i wanna know...... I WANNA KNOW when some shrink will see me? please see me said i and do whatever you have to do to understand that I DPNT KNOPW where the crayon went when it got superliminally shoved up my nose and INTO my brain.


big eyes. and crooked teeth. disease. big eyes and crooked teeth dis-EASE. big-ease. dis-easer.

the... i cant open my mouth complex. the... i can t look people in the eye complex. THE
icanttalktomyfatherevenifiwantedtobuthesstill alive
dIS EASE


BREeaking on banking on laying by the bay on the sand with my hands alongside of my swimsuit (torso) and i scraped the edges of the creases of the wrinkles on myknucles an di love how long my hair tarried but i still cant seem to raise my eyelids past half a centimeter and sometimes thats enopugh to see the light thats coming off the sun but at the right sunset it can feel like youre pretty fucking blind....


i know
i turned away
what the fuck

why does a girl want what she cant have and has to learn to not want what she dopes.... does...

today i had a crush on an engaged man! and didnt know! today i realized i suck at telling how people are!

and theres the hole in my wall and the worried thoughts saying choo choo choo choo down the tube wire heart thaw

layer it

layeR IT
DA

i can cause cake damage

i heart you toe squeeze

allowance after allowance all of it

makey lady pee plants


spoken not shared

lost heart made to ache but baked further gold into foil, started foiling itself around town twirl twirl twirl...
special feeling comes form where but i bought boy oh boy bought the perfect gift in the form of an abstract wish to be blessed with height of the spiritual mind but so off and on i notice it is really ego
upon opening to this new day i say my tongue is not yet burnt and my mind is more pure than in the countless hours sleeping through my sun my sunlight my sonshine
son shone yah
sun peppers and sun maizes
beautiful boy in urban gold and child-like memories of easter on the cement sidewalk
cracked open like today
i lifted my head i lifted my neck
i spoke out and shouted like unduel motions
emoting ebb dub lub flow
making drears out into daisies i collect my head and who and where are you?
for if'n another is to come up and wash me over, i may as well this time adjust the speed and wait to see if the great catastrophe chooses not to come...
confused as well as you two are on the same page
i unclothed rush to your side as the dress folds under you
and each one will love another 

like a brother or a sister kind of lover.
and each one underneath their petticoat shall be lifted in twirling lights of male female games...
the spicyness to experience free love
is coming
in me