Tuesday, November 16, 2010
in most of my lucid dreams my astral body cant leave my corporal body because i am too scared
basically these dreams are in real time, i am consciously aware i am dreaming after i filter through a bunch of thoughts that quickly lead into dreaming before i can be fully asleep
my first thoughts in these dreams are "oh man this again?"
i was sleeping next to pearson and we had all these crazy telepathic interchanges
the first time was him walking through thee electrical wires that were like criss-crossing about 2 feet above the ground everywhere and mumbling to himself. and the words: bumbling blindly over boundaries trying to find his way, and getting confused. At which point i woke him up and told him i thought it had to do with his handling of his 2 pseudo-relationships with me and another girl.
the dream where i awoke int he dream and again talking to pearson (Ps pearson's words's are really far away and hard to understand at all times) but basically we were taking and a crazy energetic electrical BUZZINg golden ball of light/sparking electricity came hovering (from pearson) behind my head between his head and mine. I was scared of this ball, but instead of waking up myself right away i let it be, and just stayed there and protected myself by using the technique that the self-hypnotist lady taught me in Toronto: putting a blue glass bell over all of me and it is one that only lets good in and not bad, whatever bad could possibly be.
Yeah so that worked but it still freaked me out that the ball was still there and i could still feel the buzzing and it was slowly growing bigger and felt warm and fuzzy but not in a good way
yeah so i woke up and told pearson and felt like the ball might have come from him
don't remember what the message was or what pearson was saying but yet again we were talking. and i woke up pretty quickly now. the interesting part was that after i woke up i remembered that the message was a "lightening stick" made of wood that was electrically charged being dipped into the very center of a scared bowl (like a singing bowl) made of ceramics, with squares (with symbols) etched in the sides (maybe golden rectangles?) and inside was circles like a target. the stick was sticking in the center circle . there was also imagery of the stick going in my ear
all these dreams spurred conversation with pearson about him being more honest with me and his other girl and encouraged me being more open with him and clear of heart and i hope at the right times i can share this feeling of being totally open and honest with the people who matter the most to me and in time i will be
right now i am not confused and feel like everything is so totally fine but i really want to share my life with the people around me in whatever way and have them be okay with who i am right now.
i met my essence twin his name is milo
i think he is my essence twin
a reflection of me but in a different version
i love everybody and i switched on the non-monogamous switch that i switched off when I was in 7th grade and chose Suzy over Sazzy.
the major part of this dream was that
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Well the reason is my purpose on this here plane we will call earth or Universe, or Here, or the world, or our center of origin that which we were spun out from in threads and returning to in hoards, ha heh, yeah and oh the way we blew our minds out of our gourds the last time, woahhh. I don't think we all knew the trip we'd be going on but some of us are enjoying it *wink you* . BUT this is a consensus reality. As you can uh tell from the way the drape droops of the globulus that swings within our auric rings yeah oh you can feel some call it gravity (i-trons) and some disagree BUT WAIT oh yeah I remember this November almost 11th (make a wish make a wish)...
My purpose: Cause my mom sang a song in arabic about the world and it goes a little like this. You get on the ship to meet up with each other, and you get off the ship and get carried away, but ne day get on the ship again to find each other across the globe.
Well it is in two parts entwined and lined up, I think I hope I have faith (I wish!) I pray. First part: is how we are here to meet EVERYONE and love EVERYBODY. and second: How I am here to connect people PLURAL with myself (SINGULAR) and myself (SINGULAR) with another (SINGULAR) to cancel each other out.
That is my goal, nay my duty, is to spread and mix myself out everywhere with everyone and cause great NEW CREATION but to also DESTROY at least 2 lives by creating anti-matter with our souls.
I think we got a little confused on this dualistic train of thought, but really I am singular and plural, and the hard part is to separate myself form the plural and adhere myself to another singular entity. The hard part, the UNNATURAL part is duality and any poly-ality, 'cept up to Infinity which is the plural I'm talking about which seems to be woven in every cell of my body (you now, dna and shit). So this duality, is only movement I thin, but in this life I find it might be nice to cancel each other out break down the waves and reach... oh, what's that called yeah, super-condensed state?
Boise Einstein Condensate.
"Under such conditions, a large fraction of the bosons occupy the lowest quantum state of the external potential, at which point quantum effects become apparent on a macroscopic scale."
I'll tell you a story. I found out about BECs hen I was a senior in highschool and I rushed up to my small-framed AP physics teacher and glabbed to him about w wonderful of a concept that was and felt so empowered to share in the knowledge with him. But I think I was showing off too.
It's like I'm only getting excited to show off. And if you think about mood emotional excitement and its relation to electrons getting excited and rising up to a higher outer shell in uh, you know, an atom, AND how it gives light. Well I AM fucking LIGHT. AND that's how I am alllllllllllll the time. You know highly unstable and always trying to share my electrons cause I want that full outer shell..
It's not sad and I don't cry to be sad anymore. I cry to shed my emotions when I come down from that highly unstable state called Bliss.
What is grounding to me? A sprig a twig a dog a tree a line a circle
the ground my hands the floor the flow the blinds the sun even, on a cold day
the rain is mushy i still gather its quality
the dark is loosening, I still get excited
But what is grounding?
" ground or earth may be the reference point in an electrical circuit from which other voltages are measured, or a common return path for electric current, or a direct physical connection to the Earth.
Electrical circuits may be connected to ground (earth) for several reasons. In mains powered equipment, exposed metal parts are connected to ground to prevent contact with a dangerous voltage if electrical insulation fails. Connections to ground limit the build-up of static electricity.
For measurement purposes, the Earth serves as a (reasonably) constant potential reference against which other potentials can be measured. In electronic circuit theory, a "ground" is usually idealized as an infinite source or sink for charge, which can absorb an unlimited amount of current without changing its potential. Where a real ground connection has a significant resistance, the approximation of zero potential is no longer valid. Stray voltages or earth potential rise effects will occur, which may create noise in signals or if large enough will produce an electric shock hazard.
The use of the term ground (or earth) is so common in electrical and electronics applications that circuits in portable electronic devices such as cell phones and media players as well as circuits in vehicles such as ships, aircraft, and spacecraft may be spoken of as having a "ground" connection without any actual connection to the Earth. This is usually a large conductor attached to one side of the power supply (such as the "ground plane" on a printed circuit board) which serves as the common return path for current from many different components in the circuit."
Our common return path.
Our emblazoned home.
Do you like the fire much? Here you won't have to be alone.
She said she said she said she ssaid she whispered....
But back to the point of my purpose. You see I'm so good at forgetting that once I remember I need to write it down and the funny thing is what i forget is how to remind myself! And you! Of what I'm forgetting!
Which is more than a sense more than a thing. More like a humm than a ding.
I can't show you unless you stay with me over time.
Because I am quiet then loud. Bounce the divide. I
Because I keep forgetting when the last time it was that you or I asked and how eASY! it was to remember when I answered to you withOUT you asking,
"I KNEW you! BEFORE you were BORN!"
and I did, and we did, and we all did. where were we before? somewhere around her I thin . you now we feel the dents of our bones i the ground when we step and feel a 'click' and then we align just in time and turn and rhyme and dancing is not a think you cannot live by.
I love this line I love this line I love this line I love this line
and I know what dear Nur you lack with grow. And what dear Nur you find will find you.
So do not dismay. I am growing by leaf and light and soon enough hopefully
I'll be able to have a decent conversation.