me thinks the distance increaseth not closeth up cept for when much maximum is reached and solidarity speaks

another birthday started by saying goodbye to facebook
you can find me if you try real hard, or oh i dunno ask one of your friends.
when i want to contact someone, let's see, like Aaaron, I look back in old emails for phone numbers, I call people he knows or used to know, and eventually I find the phone number, the address, etc.

my phone number is 3 6 0 4 6 4 86 56
and if youve never had a good conversation with me outside of a party, it might be a little tough now. but we are still people persons

++++++++++++++++++++
a person is sitting in my my bed
aha!
not dead but dreaming
toes i love sticking out being caught by kittens
and a spider web descending like snow glitter
but no snow here dear just green chills
blue turn into green
that what the time oil is for
massage time into fine lines so maybe my veins will get big enough to draw blood
not afraid
just perceptive
love, nur
red and white candy canes
blood and breath baby

time to be alone for a few years...
if cysts and trists were triangles and silences, then chains of flowers would dance with me ovar my crown and lay me down for hours.

i think i just immaculately concepted the next saviour
is that alright to say outloud?

he was conceived on christmas eve

ive got ALL the symptoms!

drinking alone makes you sad, even if you're having people over. especially when the music stops. less white, more brown.

I've never felt so disconnectedly repeated in my entire life. disconnected repeatedly. I can speak stand and sing loudly. sometimes the back of my throat gets sticky. there is blood in my fallopian tube. i've been spending way too much time going with the flow. I have no idea what to do. In 2 hours I have a 1 hour appointment. 1 hour after that I have a 1 hour appointment. And after that hour, there is another hour long appointment. The shingles on my roof look really wet and moldy but it's warm inside. I'm just a little shit remembering things in an interesting order. there is a wealth of good hoses and morbid thought sprawls in the overhead compartment. If you pull it down real fast you can joke fake it falling on your head, and oh, wouldn't that scare the flight attendants. Special people do arise out of the water. I saw a wood carving of her the other day in fact. In a pond. In a pool. In a pose. She was, real. There isn't a point to make up anything anymore. Everything is not really truly there. You've lost it. You've put your wet little finger through it. It was real gross and gooey and when you pulled your hand away it clung to the edges of your skin where it meets the nail, and you gagged, and fell down. A whole new universe was created in the shape of spit. One of the most globular I recall.

i feel

like an a$$hole.

don't know where to go.

i like being here.

need more......

urg.

less uh...

blurgggggggggg error computing error
DIVISION BY ZERO!

oatmeal etc.?: ongoing

OAT MEAL EXP
observation before judgment

day one dec. 3rd:

1 1/2 cup sweet potato, 2 eggs, coffee, black tea - 10am
1 cup oatmeal w/ 2 tblspns ground flax seeds, rose petals, 1/2 banana, agave - 2pm
1 cup oatmeal, 2 tblsp flax, 1/2 banana, raw honey -4:30p
1/4 cup of red curry w/tofu, 2 leaves/stalks of chard w/ coconut amino acids & olive oil - 630pm
3 bowls of almond butter stirfry w/ quinoa - 9pm
whisky and coke, cigarettes (4?)

dec. 4th:

2 cigarettes
1 cup coffee (large), 1 blackberry cider, before 2pm
1 cup oatmeal, 2 tablespoons flax, 1 banana, rose petals

word splogg uphog shit farm
bark weave moon groove
speaker ssap sokes up through your nose
mis-called your name game
misinformed
rampaged
rummaged
room spit
lit grit shit nit-pick
not pick
ing
spout out the shout-out the
frown out
the grass grown fed cow shit
shit shit shit

speak nur
sing nur
let out boar hair whore with devil's horn
let in greene grass fed sunshine led stray rays
star light star bright bright bright
hope eyes upturned
confused half-learned
poor little shaker
shake salt out pill it with some ole spelt whheat
what?
shake shake shake nervous energy
you can or cant
get it calm
it's okay im not really here
im really here
im not really here
im really here
im not really here

it's okay she shouted yelled spilled spelled from the roof of her mouth
from the top of the roof from the streets of Brooklyn
no, Olynpia, no Brooklyn, no delaware, no san fran
no the hills i the valley in utah or hollister
from the banks of my beauty i regurgitate your beauty, spewing

line up all the things and tell me i'm doing something wrong
im doing everything right an I am STILL feeling this way
gaiety and sadness are WOVEN through my fabric of the space time continuum
shut your face
well hold your lips
kiss me quick
bite my lip
shift your face
morph your brain
ache your pain
love wont go away
spit your shit out you have now got two mouths
eat your scream shout
swallow with courage laid down
lay it down doors and shrouds
do inevitably come through the see-through room doom
metal
i see doom metal in my dreams
do you see me?
do you hear me?
doom metal trembles underneath a bridge
i never knew before this text-torial singe
burn my corners
up turned in turned


FAKE! HATE! liar celled icing cake

heart beats is all i can perceive
taps and dubs and proto-beats
blood speak is all i hear through the flesh

my new band's name: (fuck me in) My bloody womb