most people are lairs simply bec. they dont know how they feel or are too scared to express themselves
most people intend to be honest

soooo more to come JOY!

love is not in the color of the clothes you wear
or the friends you hang around
it is not in your economic decisions, we all try our best
it is not in the money we let ooze into our systems
love permeates through us is everywhere and nowhere
we are made of it
skin to skin and bone to bone, cellulose to cell and squishy everything we can't tell
everywhere


our dead hair our live breath

in the outcast sky, in the incandescent pink glow of sunset

in the garbage on the ground, in the blood from your bleeding mouth

teeth pulled still, and i am yet whole

on a personal note, at burning man, I will generate wind to draw our most sincere energies out of what may seem like a dark and light cloud,

and there will be those who will help me, and those i will help

and together we will
HEAL THE UNIVERSE!
make things LIGHT!
drop our WEIGHT!
and fly, I think, I believe.

spirituality is not in the practice, it is in the heart, and I have the strength to believe in all our hearts. all golden. all good. And all you have to do, is seeee it.

I see it. in us all.

hopefully that's all that required. I know I wear God's armour.

it's happened before. It can happen again.

emotional robot seeks mind to delve deeply to unlock feeling
emotional lover robotically presses skin against skin and moves pipes to push out exhaust
emotional computer being wants things to be easy
cause hard stuff makes herhim cry
emotional daughter wants lover to notice subtle mind games, like puzzles, not war
cause sometimes pieces don't fit until they can't fit anywhere else
emotional mother weather monster wants to know if her ovaries have fallen yet.
emotional petty monster aks god for forgiveness for the sins she herself judges herself for
robot lover soldier deisres action
gets sucked into sold state stasis
wants what others have
feels embarassed when others like what she has
knows she has fooled them
and that she is not real
only as real as synthetic reality.
wires for veins, and electricity for breath
perfection comes to those who can disconnect themselves
from a conversation
who think highly of themselves
who ponder revenge
and manipulations.

wondering eyes look up, only to mentioned as bulging once again.
i want and i want and i want
only what i can give myself.

beckoning cries.
if you see mine as different.
i look inside.
i see gradation as a mathamatical equation.
your x is y away from my y, my z is your z. at least that we share.

exponents grow larger
and we separate farther.
for as weird as you wanna.
fawn is fearful, have you forgotten?
all the times it got scary, and little ol me hid under the covers
was a dream, were you real?
hovering over me, and the face of my grandfather, with a rainbow.
who was he?

i know my friends better than i know my family.
and i am scared of both.

i wanna house.
maybe a nice room.
i wanna a landlord who cares about mold.
and roommates who tell me how much i need to pay in utilities.

i love a man.
i lust for another.
i lust for the first again.
i love one like real deep, both i hardly know.
one feels deep like bowls of rice, the other erratic, perhaps only a brother.


i don't know how i feel. it fluctuates

Drop a penny on the ground for the ground's lucky day
find a penny and throw it into the sky so the sky can say
"find a penny pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck."

talk to wise people who use colors and common images to breathe
and just try to show them your special unrelated thing
what use is it to be different?
i am the same i am the same
we we we


babble.


baby coos softly against skins of trees, lain after slain on the dirt sandy concrete kind of sidewalk. what big scrape you would get if you fell on it,
off your skate board bike thingy

hanging down dangling.....

i mentioned a breath of fresh air
and my body got all hush as if i had just told them about paradise.
"sorry body, iwas just talkin."


i don't know what i want out of love

nothin i guess


i want more out of myself.

dont wanna be scared of my friends they smell it on me


wanna cry no where to be alone...
i suppose i do that.
just dont wanna tell people when to go home
dont want them to go home at all.
wanna eat better.

bye

love at high soon
full mast
pride flag fever
lovin you as ever believen

in heaven

not sure

fuck you for not making me feel at home in my own home
fuck you for making me have to feel comfortable with your junk cells
or you won't believe i love you
fuck you for alienating our friends from the east coast

fuck you for making me have to protect myself from you

fuck you for managing to persuade me i was your avatar
fuck you for telling me you were in love with me then getting angry for me not being in love with you
fuck you for never fixing it
fuck you for being a friend who no longer acts like a friend
fuck you for wanting me to just be there for you, when i haven't been there for myself.
fuck you for needing me to be okay with my home and my stuff being fucked with
fuck you
i love you

as if every chord in my body didn't care how it came out
it came out
maybe some strings all black
it came out
goddamn a half hand in my pants
it came out
and a calm air through a needle
it came out

spin that swindle another way
i've got to kindle my inner flame
you want familiarity?
you want acceptance?
i'm sorry i remember all the breath we spent
you want adventure i want a cubby hole
i need you to sacrifice your life
cause in mine, it just don't like
to be mixed with lines... that feel like poison.

aching bread muscles I feed on to get rich, (in soil)
I dont know as much as you about hardship
but we have room to grow
cant deal with the new appeal you have towards thinking but not saying it outloud.

lets say it outloud.

i don't understand you anymore.

and you seem to resent me.

- ribbon wrapping body
- all the same , dance move
- seed from the spoil , dance move
- i dunno


ideas:
about perhaps dna?
yes! dna... must do research

and ayurvedic cosmic memory stufff

__________________________________________

Aloe comes down hisher we's throat. She turned her head to the side and looked up at the sun, eyes squinted with hope. "Where is the word weird world....?"

and it was so good naked water
embryo waves, cover womb water-baby
born of a cold wind out of sun touched lake
laying on a broken tree
carved out in between dreers
standing on rock a boat
under neath and watching waves come forward

if all the things, made of stars, can give up, their "placement in this world."
then we can, let go, and reveal
ourselves
one in being with the stars
one in being with the water
and blood for remembrance never falters.
giving honour
to the tides
without holding on to the moon anchor

moot mother
moon lover
what say you for having a womb?
i want a goddess unlike a woman
i want a god unlike a man
i destroy god man woah man god,
is.

i hurt when you notice large mounds as breasts
but not small ones

i hurt when you see 2 inches of penis
as a woman
as a man

i hurt when we discriminate each others differences
differentiating like we use mathematics
calculating self-worth
unknowingly with the neuro NO non neuro NO non
self, non-typical, everyone

one lobe hangs down, the other stays put
inbetween the lions
roar, our a grumbly gargle of spit
falls
SMACK
trells down, cheek, eye, tear
release
broken tree tear skin naked water
again


look down
and rub your hands in the dirt
and spread it like ganja butter
in the aire
of the wire
holding scraping lowering your gaze
graze now cow
sacred queen
queer dresses.
lattice work.
belief is power
humbleing
now, the calm calls
cum calls
reality stalls
and walk out of the house early in the morning when condensation causes warmth as well as moist
well as groist

motion blurs
i hear ya
ear turns
to the angle of sound
listening loudly, we join our hand-flames together
and become one candle.

no breasts, all breast, genital, genetic, centro- STOP

no biological basis of behavior
stasis.

lazurus and i
well, we brought each other back from the dead

and his hand lay still on teh dester path, dusty
hand lay with that coating of dirt on top of sticky grimy oil, maybe just honey
bee propolic prepare potent
poison
pleasure
my tongue on your .... heart chakra
wheel of fortune i lick
whords whorls whores whords
i stick... just to keep you alive lazer lover

EYES LAZER SEEES LAZER LAYS LAZER LIVE LAZER LOVES
US ALL


wave goodbye
underneath solaris scenes
whettedly




kissyoukissmeGOD.