steps

step one: go in the kitchen and get a cup of coffee
710pm

step two: sip on coffee

step three: while sipping on coffee imagine that from your heart/chest you are releasing everything bad that has ever happened to you

step four: free write


even as i stand in my lair . wet and full of equipment.
i hold one sword above my head with both hands waiting to swipe and pound down on anytone who comes down the steps
this in not okay. upsatirs there are many ladies there . ladies in waiting . waiting to be taken to the dungeon. waiting for me. waiting for me to slay them.
it's not fair.
they don't really know.
i told them it was all care bears and gummy clouds.

they are children.
theya re waiitng.
fro the death
and
death seemed like so much fun.

a hope and a bead.
of sweat,
wraps slithers down around my waist, leg, ankle, inbetween my toes
hits the ground
turns the ground into ice
i freeze
hold still
arsm still raised and under arms bare to be seen
up the steps freezes

and around the corner slams the door shut with a cold whip of frost

the children. the ladies. watch silently, as a blood thirsty chill rise up in them.
they run away.
it is daylight now.
it is warm enough to walk outside and they run to the fields and lay ont he ground and embrace the sun and smush their faces in the dirty dusty dirt

never looking back
now able to see how good it feels to be lit up by this celestial fire.

and ravage the earth therafter, free.

if i died they'd be dead, if i lived, they'd be dead.

so i lay in out of motion dressed in isa


my gourd my gorge
my LORD
where
in this abyssmal celbritude do i lay?
where is my picture?
is this the kind of freedome i wanted always to staring at myself in insecurity?
or is this massive security enough to breathe?
no, i dont think i can when i'm this cold when my lungs are no longer wet but our solid


in the future, i imagine,
I imagine
beautiful flowers and children and I am one of them. we wear glossy flowers on our heads that fall off and become stickered to the floor and the sun eevry now and then bends down to kiss our foreheads
at night the grass wraps our arms around each other



my only lover might be earth
my only mother might be sun
my only brother might be water
my only self might be the sky
the sssss
kkkkkk
eyyeeeee

damn breath.