ebb-flow

zeb un sail away from disfiguring mindset breeze

un sunset away from dismembering prostrate angled legs

in ecstasy steam heat, waves hands, fingers stuck together
burned together, held together, move only faintly apart
waves
undulation, separate from autonomy

when once autonomy made light part itself out into different and far away corners

hand outstretched
hand clenched
hand outstretched
hand clenched
hand outstretched to touch receive
hand clenched, holding, and not enough room to breathe

the bird in one hand, a bush in another, suffocates in spindly dirt dreams

you fall asleep to escape

hand outstretched

broken waves
fingers spread

autonomy, now as a net

the liquid inside one's body sways

the root of balance

the sea inside a cavern

the waves that actually keep still

to separate from all this spinning
to see straight, as from behind closed fingers
a courage to see in between self-created lines
and peek out into a nightmare
that by looking
is clarified with sight

when you can stare at your hand all day, hold it in front of your face, be a child on the ocean
when you can use hands to gather, hold together, each one's autonomy

what dream it would be to wake up into
not the one i fear when the sunrises
not the one i flee from at the end of the day

am i removed? from this holding? just me?

maybe actually i am the creator

every time I decidedly parse my fingers
and let them lay out-let passages for my sight
to clarify the nightmarish waves of heat-obscuring-vision

and feel the undulation as a pointed arrow