soldier string and juicy folds

 purple pumpernickel bread wafer

soldier  string

tiny growing balls of plump

jeez my skkin is bleeding

juicy

folds

whet with grip

whet with expectation

a drop of saliva falling from the corner of your mouth

stirring something inside you

stillness 

a poke

under the bedsheets

and rainbows of flavors of the

amazing zinger! opened doors to the masses

to see... the amazing zinger!

in all its rainbow colored

foxy methoxy

glory

outside of time

i go

outside of time

some lint here in the pocket

the squeaky wheel gets the grease never

met my mouth

or my gnarly teeth (crush bones crush paper crush..)

fire/light/hell

a thousand specks of colored light from one or a hundred raspberries

3 days of fasting

valerian root tea

sticks shaped like a womb

and vomit

i exit

into the bathroom

the most safe space i can think of

lil boy knobby knees 

a'shakin still

is this how you can tell I was born in a hospital? that safety is aloness?

that safety is 4 walls and a closed door

and a mirror

Post-Birthday Weather

 I cut my nails earlier today, washed some sheets, then I threw the blankets out the window and doused them in 2020 corn-based hand sanitizer mixed with tea tree oil.

I burned them to get the stain out.

It got the stain out.

Punched several holes in imaginary walls

and cried on my sheet-less bed as the laundry machine chugged underneath my feet from the basement

I don't think our bodies connect too easily

there is some difficulty there

I have been positive

confident

and i'm not positive

nor confident

I just can be sometimes

"not since yesterday!"

this is probably too much for me

kind of disappointing looking at this unstained wood

falling apart more everything it rains

raw

and

carpenter ants gnawing around its

rusty bolts