hey world.

coffee helping

licked yolk up my chin.

i'm not leaving here without some kind of paper having been written.

drank up my rose tea.

moon gathering last night. wandering like chillin.
:

Mixxing message of why I am writing. Never for the praise. For me, praise seems to come from some place of infatuation and lust even. i am writng to get out me. Like cleaning my pores by pushing the blackheads out. i feel really verbally flowery today that may have something to do with the rampant wandering I did last night in the woods. Some realizations that if I wanted to take life seriously right now I may always. But I can't go on that path. Because when i have children they'll need someone to take them on long walks at night where the fairies dance and the wind sings you sweet songs and the more you listen the more you get embarrassed to hear, but I'd like to create my life for the use of a daughter. So that she won't have that reflex to be embarrassed. My womb my brain my hands my frame my colors my cats and the incessant prayer through the veins in my body of smiling all the time are guiding me my body and i to her. All i eat, all I say, all reckless fun i have, all books I read, and people I meet, are so that he she him can come into existence one day. I am from the kind of people who prepare a long time before. I am catering to ym mind, must learn to control my emotions, so that when she comes, she won't notice the history of screaming and yelling and hitting the people you love. I must soak it out of me. I will. i have already done so much.
I miss Scorpio.
I miss Clel.

Im really excited about my classes. Especially Experiments in Text. It's amazing and it seems like my teacher speaks the same language of me (of course he doesn't write the same language but spoken word is so malleable and flimsy).

I want to talk about the journey of getting rid of thoughts and feeling about what other people are thinking about me. I don't really know who I am so it is somewhat shocking when I am bombarded by someone else.

Also. thhe slipping into being a child again. last night I ran circles around a large crowd of people, in the sand. It was literally on the physically most fun things I have done in a while. I felt like a bird a flyer a child a fairy someone so full of joy in simply being around. get it?

im so dull. My sharp senses are roaring inside to break free. i need physical art to help me. all this leading up to where and when? I'll show up. I'm looking ahead. Let's fast forward to spring break. Let's go to Orgeon. Wilderness. Outdoors. Mmmm.

Birth Camp. Sometimes I forget i CAN manifest spiritual birth for others.