well let's continue with this exhibitionist thing, wouldn't want anyone to be leading a double life, now would we? *wink*

Well hello again. Sitting at the table eating a bland breakfast of quinoa and turmeric and salt. This is one of the only mornings since God-knows-when where I haven't woken up with someone or some peoples. This is what it's like. First, fear and loneliness and trying to fall asleep again.. and again. Then people start calling you in the morning. There's the twice called wrong number. She didn't know how desperate I was to talk to her anyway. Well, sorta an exaggeration - I did want to fall back asleep. Now later "morning" and feeling the day, but I do not want to go outside because there is snow on the ground and I hate snow. I love snow. And snow is very cold.

My neighbor just walked out in a T shirt.

Last night I thought I was walking home. BUT. I whistled for my cats (just in case they were nearby) and lo and behold (the light of God) LUpita runs out from the side of the road! And joins me on my 5 to 7 minute walk home! Hooray! I love that she walks with me to the bus stop, even to the Handy pantry, and then Waits for me to return. Or rather, I'm pretty sure she knows when I'm coming home. Cause we're chill like that. (psychic sic what)

I really feel like it's a snow day. But I still have to write a 1 page paper and do other homework for Tuesday... BUT! I do not have ANY morning classes in the weekdays. This means I can party every night. Like last night, I went to the Reef, wrote, read, AND took a shot of whiskey. Man is being and adult awesome. Hear that? Little Nur from way back in the day...? There's more to life than a white picket fence and being married, and having 4 or 10 children, or being a scientist. These days scientists are just cogs in the machine, children are too burdensome, and being married? Well, you already did that, and you found out that no matter how much someone tells you they love you, if they're male, they're lying. At least not according to your definition... based in unconditional love even to and from flawed human beings. Actually. Little Nur, adulthood is full of constant resentment, and over time letting go of your anger. The only question is that by the time you learn to let go, who will love you then? Sure everyone, YES EVERYBODY, but not in that white pickett fence a dog and 3 cats and 3 children with a life partner and massive amounts of playtime. Oh and another thing Nur, people don't play anymore when they get old. And when you sit in your room talking outloud, people will just think you're crazy. Or boring. But mostly, annoying.

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

drank some really nice tea this morning...

my feet are warm

my name is lavender

an you are?