not sure

fuck you for not making me feel at home in my own home
fuck you for making me have to feel comfortable with your junk cells
or you won't believe i love you
fuck you for alienating our friends from the east coast

fuck you for making me have to protect myself from you

fuck you for managing to persuade me i was your avatar
fuck you for telling me you were in love with me then getting angry for me not being in love with you
fuck you for never fixing it
fuck you for being a friend who no longer acts like a friend
fuck you for wanting me to just be there for you, when i haven't been there for myself.
fuck you for needing me to be okay with my home and my stuff being fucked with
fuck you
i love you

as if every chord in my body didn't care how it came out
it came out
maybe some strings all black
it came out
goddamn a half hand in my pants
it came out
and a calm air through a needle
it came out

spin that swindle another way
i've got to kindle my inner flame
you want familiarity?
you want acceptance?
i'm sorry i remember all the breath we spent
you want adventure i want a cubby hole
i need you to sacrifice your life
cause in mine, it just don't like
to be mixed with lines... that feel like poison.

aching bread muscles I feed on to get rich, (in soil)
I dont know as much as you about hardship
but we have room to grow
cant deal with the new appeal you have towards thinking but not saying it outloud.

lets say it outloud.

i don't understand you anymore.

and you seem to resent me.