are you intelligent?
what if one day you woke up and couldn't use your brain in the same way? you could perceive the way in which your brain used to work, but couldn't make it work that way...?
how blah blah blah all the sounds and people and mouths would become
all this joy, how you got there, you smile and laugh when the drum-stick hits the drum
and the crash syllables
all the toe slapping good time
fingers that can't move fast enough for words that can't move slow enough for lips to hover
lips that stop space and time
illness that degrade and give off the illusion of age
money is every where
money is eternal
money found the fountain of youth and drank it dry
we night time swimmers spin still
waiting for the woven string to catch up to our tongues
in the meantime we sing
and twist our lips, and even a tinge of breath makes a soft hum
like an electric car
all roads lead to death, money, don't you know
honey you cant be old and alive for too much longer
love and rockets
yooung memories
utah
i hate those punks now
i hate most punks
because most punks are living off their pappy's salary & ignore me at shows
why didn't momma pay for my court settlement?
sometimes it's not money it's privilege
i'm not white i just look white
i got that light-skinned privilege but not that white privilege
i got that light girl privilege but not that "I've got a family who can help me out in bad times" privilege
except i do
it's part of why i am afraid of the dark. and afraid of the mouth
who weaves words that slip under yr fingertips and move yer hands about
shielding yer face
covering your heart
i can literally feel when my heavy heart opens and closes because of how heavy the latch is, and how many things whiffs of wounded wind rush out every time i open it.
i feel so good like a drug just to open my heart
and to lay open in the house of others
because i live nowhere
and my heart is the only home i know
i have 4 family members total home is
a
place
you dream
of becoming
real.
and you, a dream,
cycle back and forth
staring at clouds like children in the sunshine on concrete in the backyard waiting for mom to bring strawberries or
maybe you are a cat
and your parent figure is waiting for your return to pet you
your fur is upturned
and your claws, fins that help you swim
in this ebb and flow economy colony
i call out
one arm to the folds of skin called wind
and screech banshee banshee--
i forgot nothing!
i carry one sword
and when my heart is bare i hold it inbetween my teeth
please God, I wait for you to pick up yer mess
in this catatonic state i wonder are you catatonic too?
