my heart stretched out so fine the creases' powder
my wretched heart stretched
my heart so full and emptied, i begin to see clearly
out of the open wound i have been harboring flows
blood red anger
and the letting promotes growth
somehow and in some way that
i do not know
my flow and ebb slows to show
somekind of passion that
i do not know
my heart wretched and torn
many newborn
my heart in pain and drained
i am tired
slain
reborn
fire favor
falling
into
scabs and showmanship
a ripped jacket
a clip
from the endangered species channel
and now,
the extended version
of the kill
when i ripped out my own heart and hurt beyond
error error error
shit
banking on some watery grave
to place that stone of a heart i birthed
stillborn and still born
alive in the most peculiar way
you say it's okay but how can i ever forget just how sad I am all the time and in all the ways tainting everything i love?
..and everythibng that loves me
with RIVALROUS ANGER
SPEARS
AND TOOTH AND NAIL
BLOODY PIECE OF SKELETON
JUST TOOTH AND HAIR
barely there kind of bare
I am a bear a bird a spirit
they helped me last night
Was it them who i awoke to in spite of him?
God where are you? I prayed to you and I felt you but you were in-
SO MANY PIECES
how could you take me
with so fragile of a frame
What am I made of?
If it is of God then why is my structure so hard
as to remain in this same beating pattern of my heart
as to remain so bitter so strong so born and torn
why my heart
is only a rock
but i birthed him out
i shouted and tore him to pieces and lay him down, like God
with the vulnerability of a child I look on in amazement and wonder
my child is a stillborn, still born
my heart is stretched out to harden wider and longer
my throat is closed and open
my base is a trunk truncated and locked
i am lost no here but lost no here but barely there bare and-
Oh maybe I don't understand this...