sorry bunny

sorry bunny

Monday, January 2, 2012

thoughts and explorartions 2nd day of 2012

Center for the Study of Mind in Nature

What the cosmos is Eurythmy and why haven't I ever met her until now?
Eurythmy – Harmonious or beautiful movement (Greek)

Life is very weird. For some reason going to Burning Man this past summer made me feel a look into the future, in other words, made me start thinking about how I could direct my life now in a direction. That direction is intentionally becoming full of many plans/opportunities and full of many holes to be filled with unknown activities, to be given room to breathe like crochet. 
Here is a run-down on what kind of skills I wish to develop (for support and stability), and what kind of activities I imagine would encourage my spirit to rise up in me (and out of me) like the most bangin' fire I have ever seen. FIRE!
In a few words, the origin of my re-birth (this is the beginning of the 26th calender year of my life) will start at the mouth.
The food goes in, and reminds us of our terrestrial origins.

The digestive fires burn and flames are shot out, a song & a breath.
The cycle is perfect. We are all perfect.
A warrior spirit grows in me. I have much work to do. Much love to be made to the Earth.
To give myself to the ground, is my first baby step. As I grow food, so too will my body grow in me, more than a mere hologram of my being. Full of nutrients. Metal & Fire, Earth & Air, over water.
------------Pathway to Guatemala------------------------
zero: Nur needs to get a job. Nur would like to begin to train to become a massage therapist. Using your hands is an antidote to anxiety/depression. Serving others, in complete relinquishment of your self, will also provide a good basis for the life of service Nur wishes to follow. I think massage is something very acceptable by most any culture, and that with this skill I could make money in an already socially acceptable structure-less manner. So, a silly job could pay for my living & the beginning costs of a massage program that will in the end leave me with a skill that could make enough money, so yes, I can eventually break out of this traumatic economical/political system. 
Winter 2012 / College &  part time job.
Spring 2012 / opts. 1) College &  part time job (graduation?) or 2) full-time job & massage school / get passport($60-$140)/ solidify farm work-trade position
Summer 2012 / work/massage school / saving up for trip (=>$
Fall 2012 / Guatemala
----------------Mountain Water----------------------
fix teeth / continue self-learning alternative methods to jaw surgery
learn to learn: medicinal/magical plants, energy healing, massage, spanish language, poetics, sculpture, performance, getting really healthy!, permaculture
I'm not really sure when I'll leave Guatemala, I sort of assume I'll somehow spend around 6 months there. It may be longer, who knows, a few years? But I'll probably return to Olympia, WA and continue studying massage and working a minimum wage job. I may continue going to The Evergreen State College, even if I have graduated by this time. I have much more to study about making music, art in general, but especially metalworking & performative poetics

Well, now the time for this writing to be a focalizer. Remember Nur, you can't pay your phone bill & you have no money for utilities, you're banking on the fact that you prolly won't have to pay another month still. Without financial aid, you're financially stranded. So you're job is to get a job. And your job is to turn your excess of clothing into money. The reality is you are not an anarchist, not yet, and you are stuck in the system. And as we learned last year people can't squat or travel, even if they give up their personal goals to do so, with two cats (w/out surrendering their freedom to explore..). But you're good at getting a job. And you're good at making your room be a comfortable place to live. And you already paid January rent. You have one month to get money. You have one month to use your skills to make beautiful things. You have one month to organize a plan, so that you are not repetitively homeless every time your plans fall through. Suck it up. At least you're not married anymore, and at least you don't have a baby. You'll find a job that won't make your crazy. And you'll be responsible. Life is stretching herhimwe's hands out waiting for you to make the best of what was honestly a far too cushy place for you to have been in. And even if it goes away. You're prepared to not let your life fall into pieces. I love you and you're beautiful.

in a few words
wondering who Nur is?
Nur is
noise music
performance art
strong wind warrior
the sound of our feet beating into the residual terrestrial prints of being

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