Now sitting in a hospital, eye institute section.

Now sitting in a hospital, eye institute section. Am thinking of my huge eyes, feel deja vu rub against me. It is not always comforting to feel familiar. I pity myself over my eyes, and wish I wanted to right sweet sweet poetry with ambi-sextra form and pharma of communication. No, but I am a scientist.

There is a grey wall to my left, made of plastic, with some texture added. Everything is smooth in here. The tones are light, the colors, variations on blue and grey.
Above the textured wall, a smooth one, some shades lighter blue/grey/sea foam green. There are doctors in shirts and pants, all uniform. And doctors in long white lab coats. We sit around a silver metallic circular table, and post-modern styles of wood grain. The natural made unnatural, has appeal. It appears cleaner than nature, and yet susceptible to the most terrible of diseases. Because after you enter a hospital, you enter some sort of underground world, one where people gather to and from to be healed, to heal, or to make money off of the two.

If, I look around and think: This is a place of healing. One would wonder, why does it feel so stifling? But health has always been confused with control.

And as i look around with my robotic eyes in the eye institute of OHSU, I feel a sense of belonging. This institutionalized setting, I remember. I am you. We sit here on this rotating table, and they look at us. And touch us. And we let them, metal parents with hind noses. It's okay they're old, and remind us of Pa, and we feel a sense of comfort. This is familiar. I remember the last time I stuck my surgical steel into your fleshy folds.

I see hopeless mind, who are being steered by others. A mix of revolving winners ( scuplture school for the blind) and falings drive.

Yesterday, I watched a movie about a society who created a brain that was so smart and foreword thinking, it could not control its rapid growth, became greedy, and chose to continue growing. To maintain its dead cells, it killed other living beings and used their vital cells, but in exchange turned them into empty metal shells who killed upon demand.

Created from creatures that later would was try to destroy themselves, inadvertedly, as if their future selves were enemies of a past selves that put them that way to begin with.

At odds with one's self.
s
ends