save it for marriage

razor sharp pine needles
do not allude
rather salute to yr shorts

like the wind they scrape


when walking in high priestess garb
one shakes their persona away
and in tendrils of blade cuts into bald flesh

barren.


shake it off
like so many stems formed the duff
shake my hands
shake my teeth
i terribly ache to cry a river
and a survivor.
we are all survivors.

victim? vision?
martyr? matter?
will this mother
suck this child
there is no father.

only mother. only female.
only air and water.
earth fire wind music
all mother.
all matter.
all mouth 

i wear my grandmother's shawl
but it dont mean
i will forget
some illusion
of trauma.

some memory in the 97% of DNA

that i don't fucking remember-

a ghost.
some call goblin.


in this world.
in the car.
outside.
across the street.
i have no message
i pull down my pants.
grin at yr face.
and forget when i was in yr place.
did we call it rape then?
all the fancy words and wisdoms can't explain
the sick feeling of being everyone.
every zipper pulled down.
every finger.
every confusion.
is this good for me?
no, is this good fer us?

you can't rememeber this heart torn thrown trashed
ashed


slimy pulling waving goodbye
always leaving
fleeting
i hold it here in these words to scream
i elongate its tongue to gather
memory
sound makes music makes the matter makes the motion.

are you done cutting my hair so long?
i grew blood uynderneath my toenails

what now
in the backseat
i am you
this date.
has passed.
a thousand times.

respect.
how can i see you?
when my bones have so many times been roman.

when my bones have so many times been christ and the fall.

and the fakers.

bones made from form.


how can i call a poet
i call a poet
one who is dis-eased
with not speaking
with blind language


on this day
wizards woven by wounds and wind
i dont care how much you love me
if i trip on yr
fallacies
i may spell out these tongues
and rub them on the backyard concrete
until they show signs of use
of ab- use

on my self
on my personal hell
which i so willingly attempted to
ransom yr body
with mine.