sanity does not exist in this house: family time during the holidays always sucks

Backstory: woman from Jordan, grew up in Amman, next to the church, Christians, while Muslims lived in Refugee Camp nearby. Woman clean a lot for household and constantly feels guilty for 'whatever' and does more than what is necessary, thus causing her asshole family to take advantage of her. Asshole family doesn't notice how sensitive she is and treats her badly, excluding her from things her older brother gets. Girl/Woman gets very good grades in school is one of few who graduate on time, goes to Teacher's School . Woman graduates Teacher's School and becomes Math Tecaher for 9th Grade school girls at the same school she went to orginially established by the U.N. Thank You. Woman makes more money than most women her age. Most woman only married and take care of the house. Woman here is a working woman in what the outside world would call a 2nd world nation. Woman begins to trust her environment. Brother becomes prominent chemistry professor, marries Muslim woman, gets exiled from Jordan and moves to .... Delaware.

Woman feels guilty that her brother broke the chain of christianity, she says, since the time of Jesus, a family from Nazareth. Woman holds in the pain as if it was her own, not fully realizing Brother doesn't really care. Woman hold all this against him eventually and separates herself by becoming supercritical of evryone's actions, until they can't stand her and leave her alone. Loyalty is exchanged for Freedom.

Woman marries fellow chemist and moves to... Delaware

Woman has 3 children and they grow up in .... Delaware.

Man divorces woman & children and steals all their things, painting on the wall. Woman comes home and doesn't understand what's going on and is still trying to learn English well. Children are 6, 4 1/2, and 2 1/2 years old. Children then grow up to find out what psychological influence this has had on them. Woman finds out Man has also been cheating on her. Woman spirals into terrible depression and gains weight. Woman hold herself up very well and by herself takes care of three children. Children get a good educationa nd excell in school, in everything. Children feel supported by Mother. Mother hold in deep sadness for her failed life. Father galavants across the U.S. and the Globe making thousands of dollars a month and using it to go to fancy hotel rooms and stay in fancy places with his new wife, married within the year after the divorce.

Man later to daughter on hills of Big Sur California, when asked, "what happened when I was young? Did you leave for a while? it feels like something bigger than I can remember happened?", replies: "I was gone for 4 years."
"Why did you do that?"
"I just wanted to have fun."

Woman yells at children every day and provides for them healthy unprocessed foods on a daily basis. Woman uses her intelligence to carefully plan meals, and financial resources so children never realize they are anything less than privalleged.

Woman yells Woman yells Woman yells.
Children yell Children yell Children Yell.
Daughter cries every single day but for more than these reasons. For reasons that feel like a bullet in the heart from birth.

Children scrape their nails to the doorways that imprison their bodies. Children must get angry and feel terrorism.

Daughter becomes terrorist of her own family's home.
Daughter yells gets angry throws things, And Vaccuums. Daughter is very confused.

She slowly undresses, and puts on the fancy lace tights, and the shiny blue skirt, and the extremely well placed shirt, the beautiful necklace, and the right shoes that match the iridecence of the skirt, and makes her face pretty, with the smallest of subtle movements. And prays to the moon for better loks because she believes she is ugly. And yells at herself and yells at herself and yells at herself. And knows why. But doesn't know why.


Mother says, "It depends on how you look. If they think you're rich, they get scared."


Duaghter is Mother is Daughter is Mother is a land so lost it never existed. Just like our sanity. So we'll scream and cry until those high-pitched dirges grind us into the ground. Dirt people.

The End.