sorry bunny

sorry bunny

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

RAInBOW GATHERING AND MORE

First of all it was perfect perhaps for rainbow to be in Wa. First because the pacific northwest is naturally grounding. second because it still gets cold and wet here, especially at night. It feeds the soul to be uncomfortable.

Mish mash of young and old the cold and naked, the winded, the short of breathing, the fae, the faeiries!, the beloveds, the girls who get hit on by dudes and bras, the older men who give small girls like me full body massages where mostly just the butt is massaged, the flippant types who yell OI OI OI! who you call "OI!" who feed you hash chex mix and remember you in a soft and sweetly gentle manner, the rich hippies who revel in their privilege not aware of the struggle simply to avoid getting arrested for sitting down in public places by their equals. BUT AT RAINBOW. From some mechanism, reality, Babylon, melts through, and even though some rich some young some spoiled some poor princest, some wise young humonsters, came together. I think that is beautiful.

I think it's beautiful to be given the opportunity to both deny my discomfort around those of privilege, and my fear of being privileged around those with less, and smile, and say, I Love You, and pull back, and see just at any other level there are multiple levels running/ channels through your body, through your hearts, and into each other's fingertips. I feel the hearts beat at the tips of my bones.

I judge others so often. Good bad safe healthy, scary, creepy, sick, not well rested, beautiful eyes, beautiful hair, face face face, oh youre safe oh you won't hurt me, oh you don't judge me, oh you see the real me, oh you can feel my heart, oh you appreciate my childlike nature and help to let it come out, oh you're brave and i feel safe to never get pulled over, love cops, love lace, love long lines, not short ones. Skin like my brother... ONLY. Etc.

I suppose my point is that, I really just want to remove value from my thinking. But perhaps ideas have inherent value. Inherent claim to relation of the idea to other concepts, to other material and meta-material worth. Worth? I say, WORTHY. I know ALL IS WORTHY. ALL IS GRACE. And I only want to rub up against the corners that stick to pockets that stick to elbows, and help you remember not just where you were (RAINBOW-ORIGIN-CREATION-LIGHT-HARMONY), but also how you came out, and how you will come back in, To, CIRCLE.

So I am practicing tearing down my thoughts. In their words a scream of ignorance, about goat kids and feeble yuppies, In my words always battering the ones on the other side until i am left alone with no group to belong to. Only individuals whop love me, but who i cannot stay with for more than I few minutes. And at base, broad nose-ed and long fingered years of carved stone to make wrinkles on knuckles. I remember that I was all of them. Young old harmed hurt loved glorified, beloved, heckled, harassed, and both woman and man. And both non-entity, and entirely. And both, tree and humon(ster), both monster is golden and green, may scare young children like me, but IS me. Slave labor is abolished in the act of resisting submission. Burn baby burn that dollar. No matter how many lives are saved with the green meets the gold, I feel deep in me at least, to go towards and outside of the money lurching tree.

Burn baby burn baby. Burn all your thoughts. Let them go baby. Lemme see them, hold 'em up to light, with arm to angle and angle to sun.
Sun baby, burn my pride, and burn my ego. Sun darling take away the [pain of feeling like its needed to be whatever I am needed to be.]
I am dear to myself. I understand myself. I love msyelf. And from this strength lemme grow into something.... Like machine that spurns ideas into a blanket. It will keep me soft and warm, as a merging of past and future, of concept and denial of all conception.

Was it a baby burnt up in bread? the sun so soft to shed its skin. Can we burn to begin again?

I transit from yes to day. I turn from the past, to what I am in the right now. I am in or on an air chair, made of wood, we have half-turned to see forwards and backwards at the same time. And now am aware.

sun ion tense
intently hot to burn
thought off

It's okay to be burnt. Though you may like cold. I know. That without the sun you would die. And I am here to help you surge into a renewal of things lost ion the fire. And regain the ability to fly close to the sun, have no wax to melt, and no skin to crumb, for all is one. [clik click clik clik clik clap.]

So real stuff :

I guess I judge people pretty harshly. And I am always really sensitive to judgment. I think that's why when I meet someone that doesn't judge others, it's so intensely different. That, well. How could i not fall in love.

MAKING LOVE TO THE UNIVERSE
one photon at a time.

And I remember my dream. And I've collected some advice. And as we are evolving. Perhaps we all need a little help to get close to SunGods. Now small focus, now large, we undo the charge...
In my dream. All is real, and there is no non-consens reality. In my dreams. Family comes together, first through blood, then through trauma memories, then through culture, then through ever more sub-specific categorizations. And that is sorta how it is now. Under all these sub-categories, we can pick and choose who and what and where to love what is out there.

Well, first one must learn to focus when trying to integrate their senses. And oh Love must be full of sensory stimuli. So MUCH to handle. And I am not serious allll the time...

OH WOW SO MUCH TO DO.

I am renewed with grounding desires to love my body more, and make my heart grow. And I've asked around, and even though I've been doing a pretty good job right about now. They said, Nur, you go even more. I believe them because I trust everyone. And I have been hurt, but not too badly.HOPE FIEND HOPE HOPE HOPE!
I want to look at you and see only the GREAT SPIRIT in action.
Like crow like father messaging flounder in the water, fork picks them out, and chooses purpose, sun dries food to save and start preserving, I dance in my bones, on the celular level, it has been shown... shhhhhhh. no fantasy.

we can BEND space and TIME.

as we are divine, and we were made divided to be the vine.
and as we grow we cover more air-ground. to include.
to mix id==ifferences. to make things that awaken our true blood. to be allowed to love. and Universe, oh Universe, help me stay above water. because it's the element I have most difficulty with.
For each seed from my heart, washed away, are 10,000 seeds from the birth of that one seed into your heart, the one I carry in my heart. Hands palms down picks up roots heart of palm string. Pull like feathered silk, and whipsering tendons.

this is how we plant the seeds, this is how we reap the fruit. push pull. ebb flow. lub dub lub dub.

I remove the dirt from my heart so i can see,
and you arise like a dream, forging to my metallic.
you are the one. called god. callled love. called partner. called friend.

we are white and black,
in the dark I can walk fast and see paths very well,
and you stumble
in the light I trip over and fly and make mistakes, then find joy,
and you tremble
at the beauty of being free.
well i say dark and death brightens me.
For I am light.

Just one more..

There is no value inherent in anything.
No dark better then light. And to experiences this. Just stay int he woods without a flash light. Dark may be scary, may be very open and vulnerable, but holds a wisdom, I seldom. Develop, under the moon.

Moon forms. Moons spurns. Moons weaves her-him string things all around, dream catchers, fall through trees, and lines form from marks of leaves, that the trees leave, in the air, when the moon glow )oh my moon child( energizes the air, needs to reach the ground. Forms ether. Forms the structure of love.

I love you like long layers of time repeated to perform the part of being love, once again, for you me, history.
I love you like dirt under my nails I can't get out. i let it lay. I love you with an itch to remember just exactly how we know each others. And another itch to forget.


The world is spinning and our heads still ringing. when the Sea Ate ALL men.

A wonder warrior emerged from the waters. and bled blue true. to add to pink and green reality.

Zaher
GReene
Blue?

A message from God. Said. I love you. And I know you're tired. So here is some presents.

[above: what hope looks like in my head]

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